You’ve got to get yourself together

I hit a milestone today, kids.

That’s right – I drank the first ever cup of hot coffee in my whole entire life. Okay, so it was chocolate-flavored, but I still think that counts, especially if it took me 23 years to get to the point where I could move beyond frappuccinos or frozen mochas (and even those I’ve only gotten around to trying in the past year or so). Somayya even commended me for not making any faces. The real deal coffee woke me up long enough to finish studying for our final and, more importantly, stay awake during the final itself. Yes, I have dozed off during final exams before. Really, why’re you so surprised?

Now, I’m planning on eating as many Doritos and chocolate chip cookies, and drinking as many energy drinks, as it takes for me to stay up tonight and finish one of the two remaining Papers From Hell by tomorrow morning, because, really, this is getting out of control. Sidenote to Somayya: Please note that I referred to drinking energy drinks, not eating them, like I supposedly “ate a glass of cranberry juice this morning.” Conversing with me when I’m sleep-deprived must be such an interesting experience. Oh, and thanks for all the 100%-sugar candy, buddy.

By the way, I didn’t know there was a such thing as sugar-free chocolate chip cookies. Who in their right freakin mind invented that?

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