I cannot wait to call you and tell you that I landed somewhere

Melody, originally uploaded by yaznotjaz.

I’m pretty sure I’ve forgotten how to blog – or, at least, how to write in general. This is a sad state of affairs. And if that’s not bad enough, Adnan has gone and deleted all RSS feeds from his GoogleReader.

“But how you vill follow veblogs now?!” I exclaimed [mentally, it came out in a Desi accent]. “Back to the pre-googlereader days of opening a page and hoping the blogger has updated?”

“You guys rarely update anyway!” came the rejoinder. Can’t argue with that one. Besides, maybe Adnan’s right in attempting to simplify his blog-reading habits through un-following feeds. After all, I just spent an entire afternoon+evening whittling down my GoogleReader unread-posts count from 1,000+ to 689. Also, I’ve just realized I subscribe to 263 feeds. This is slightly ridiculous. Just slightly.

Anyway, in lieu of a real post, I present to you my latest “fake update” (highfive to Ayan!), a recently rediscovered .txt file on my harddrive. I’m not sure anymore what the context was behind half of these, but it’s all bullet points (from the last few months) that were meant to be GMail or facebook status messages, I think, and were used as such in many cases.

Lists and bullet points! We haven’t done those in a while.

Onward, then.


“The precise location of my camera is undetermined.” – original z-lo flava

crackfiendserene: Don’t come to California unless you know how to SPELL! Because CALIFORNIA is a BIG WORD, I know. (What kinda Desi are you? I need spelling-bee champs!)

ich bin zurueck

“Art always tastes better when it’s brought to you live!” – Pacific Art Collective

“And what is there to life besides highfives and kickass gelato?” – Z (again)

“Just gotta stab your way to success.” – Anjum

I am out of chapstick, and have now resorted to applying lipgloss as part of my bedtime ritual. As Somayya would say, “Dubyoo tee EFF!”

“Are you updating your address book? You are more of a (a) nerd and (b) uncle than I am.” – Z

Goroo ba means Daika jay ga/”We will see”

Hey, Jude

Holy hell, there are eyelash enhancement techniques now! Whaaaat?!

“Hijabis should come with an instruction manual or something.” – A in Toronto

We must let go of the life we have planned,
so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.
– Joseph Campbell

“Nobody stabs my bus!” – Enchanted

“Apply the quadratic equation to your life.” – Conversation with the halaqafools

Favorite words today:
1. Doppelgaenger
2. Zeitgeist

It’s settled. I need to have CUPCAKES at my wedding.

Duaiyaan ne thyaareh shuruuh ho gaey

“I don’t know what ‘melodramatic’ means… but you’ll be removed.” – Enchanted, again

My eating habits are best described as,
“Yes, please.”

I lowve Juno, because she’s OBSESSED with blue slurpees. Why did you all fail to tell me that THIS was the one reason why I should watch the filum?!

“Have your stabbing pen ready. You’re gonna hide it in the headwrap, right?” – Z

I am not aloof. I am aloo, without an F. [Epiphany resulting from a conversation with a smart friend, who came up with that statement. Aloo=potatoes, the single food item, in any form, with which I am highly obsessed.]

“It would be lovely if what we loved to do also made enough money for us.
It would be lovelier if we knew what we loved to do.” – N bhaiyya


Somayya: “Yazzo, you get addicted to things too easily. I don’t think you should ever try drugs.”
“What about crack?”
“You won’t really get addicted to crack. Now, HEROIN, on the other hand…!”

“Super salad?” [This will never get old.]

I want a vespa the color of tangerines. [Like maybe this one that Hashim pointed me towards.]

“I love when you stay people need to be stabbed. I can just hear you saying, ‘I will cut youuuuu.’ ” – Dina

I keep dreaming I’m taking photos.

“Yes, I think I read that on wikipedia once.”

“You go, cracker! The daily waffles make it work.” – A, trying to wheedle me into being productive.

I wear glasses. My eyes are great.

Dishoom! Ka-pow! Zabardast!

Who the hell pays $4 for a salad with no tomatoes? – @ Library cafe
Holy hell, who pays over $7 for a salad!? – @ Hipster cafe
Shit, I just did. And it’s a Mediterranean one with tomatoes and avocado and capers and olives and pepperoncini and artichoke and cucumbers. And it comes with bread and butter.

In love with crinkly-eyed smiles. Bas.

7 thoughts on “I cannot wait to call you and tell you that I landed somewhere

  1. “…263 feeds”

    You’ve GOT to be kidding me. I don’t even remember the last time I subscribed to a two-digit number of feeds. In fact, my feed thingie is broken, I need to open a GoogleReader account.

    As for your listie items, I was just made to smile by too many to recount. But the wikipedia one wins. And aloo. Actually, the “yes, please” — I must quote that at my next meal with friends!

  2. Oh my, I hope my blogger’s block isn’t contagious. Maybe I shoulda worn one of those face masks when we was in Toronto?! Way to contaminate a NewUnion Owl!

    (on a positive note, I’ve restarted blogging. So there is a cure?)

  3. Too many favorites but me being me if I had to pick one:

    Dishoom! Ka-pow! Zabardast!

    Oh and writing always come back… through writing…

  4. You have already got yourself a rocking post there… I, on the other hand, have tried everything – from changing the blog to changing the job – and it still fails to get going – the writing that is.

    I am working on building up steam through convoluted comments left at the blogs I lurk at – but how does one go about doing that when the writers of all these blogs start not-updating. I hold you all responsible for my blogger’s block. :(


    your wikipedia reminds me of a conversation i had with my manager. We were discussing some index constituents and I was like Im not sure if thats right and I wikipediaed(i know thats not a word) it. And then he goes “you believe wikipedia more than me?”

    Ok it probably doesn’t sound that funny now.

  6. Yep, eyelash enhancement does indeed exist. I know, because I’m a cracker with short eyelashes, and have splurged on said eyelash enhancement before a trip to Bangladesh where I was attending a wedding filled with long eyelashed women. I’m too lazy to put the fake ones on myself.
    “Souper Salad never gets old.” That’s good to know. My husband and his friends just bought one, and my first question was “Do people even go to those anymore?”

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