One morning, I woke up and I was suddenly twelve feet tall

One morning, I woke up and I was suddenly twelve feet tall
Originally uploaded by yaznotjaz.

Last Wednesday, I went to a Mohja Kahf poetry reading at Mudraker’s in Berkeley (it was rocking, by the way!), and ended up seeing some old buddies and making a couple of new friends. One guy I shook hands with towards the end of the evening exclaimed, “You have a really firm handshake!”

I laughed. “I get that a lot.”

His friend said, surprised, “Oh, yeah?”

“Here, I’ll shake your hand, too, so you can see.” So, I did.

“Really strong!”

“I have to compensate for my short height in some way, you know,” I joked. “At least I have strong handshakes.”

A few minutes later, the first hand-shaker asked curiously, “How old are you?”

“How old do you think I am?”

He thought about it for a minute, then confessed, “I can’t really tell. You’re short.”

SIGH. As my friend, Hashim, says of my photography, “You seem to be looking up a lot (trees towards sky) – or down (at grates or odd pink cemented things). This implies you are short…”

Someday, I will grow up to be tall, and Hashim will stop making basketball-related jokes at my expense, bastid. One can only hope. Meanwhile, I’m content with lots of fist-shaking.

24 thoughts on “One morning, I woke up and I was suddenly twelve feet tall

  1. dude! yaar!

    even though i know i can’t grow any taller because of silly biology, i still hold hope/wish to one day suddenly grow to 5′ 8″.


  2. i wish i was shorter than i am, and less ungainly. shorter people are cute, and can hide more easily. that’s always a plus. =)

  3. My uncle has called me Shorty my whole life. Yeah. I’ve been taller than him since I was 14. (He still calls me Shorty.)

    I wouldn’t want to be shorter, but it would be awesome if I could buy PANTS instead of floods/capris.

  4. …and NOW look what you have done!

    Suddenly, I have been led to the realization that I am short, which basically means JB is not all that tall, and that is some compensation. And all this because I have a firm handshake… a firm handshake that came from years of practicing, because they taught us in MBA this was the mark of a confident person, and a good salesman. The fact that you never got around to shaking hands with ladies in Pakistan – back when atish was jawan – and that they never brought your attention to this detail got me into trouble more than once once I arrived here and went around being introduced to my colleagues… I had to explain myself to three fiancees and two bosses in the space of two hours. The ladies got a day day off to nurse their hands, and made a habit of hiding their hands in their pockets when walking anywhere on my floor – even when I was on sick leave. :(

  5. Being average is boring. I like having a gag, and as I’m not tall or short, I’ve got to pick something else. Like my face. 0_0

  6. I’m not sure if I agree about your photos tending to look up, or down. Rather, I think they’re often about the detail, the right moment. It’s less about the vertical, or even the spatial…more about the timing. Or time.

    Someday, I wanna wake up to take photos like you do…

  7. Good things, small packages!

    And short people are usually more spunky, to make up for the whole vertically challenged thing. Maybe I’m just making that up though, I’m biased…

  8. At least short people do not usually develop that awkward stooping body frame, and yeah, they dont go banging their heads on low door frames when going in or out a little less carefully. *rubs head at the memor(y/ies)*

  9. I only know that my wardrobe is stuffed with loads of trendy clothes, which just grew small in a matter of weeks.

    Still, I love being tall. Nobody dares to give me a firm handshake because of it. :cool:

    You are invited to a blogiversary, by the way.

  10. Your titled reminded me of Shel Silverstein’s poem “One Inch Tall”

    If you were only one inch tall, you’d ride a worm to school.
    The teardrop of a crying ant would be your swimming pool.
    A crumb of cake would be a feast
    And last you seven days at least,
    A flea would be a frightening beast
    If you were one inch tall.


  11. I havent been around the blogs in a long time and I come and see you haven’t updated in forever!!! I hope you are okay and I hope you will be back to blogging very soon. I am bookmarking you again now (old computer crashed)

  12. =) thank you all for the comments, and for checking in, rockstars! life got in the way, and i’ve been highly slackerish about updating. i’ve missed you, though. new post up for you all, and more to come, definitely. let’s hang out again? it’s been too long.

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