All facial hair should be ill-kept but not uneven

For Baji, my favorite robot monkey pirate
For Baji, my favorite robot monkey pirate, originally uploaded by yaznotjaz.

A few things, re. Talk Like a Pirate Day, which was on Sept. 19th (must mention them now, before I forget, because they amuse me):

one. My phone shows the following outgoing text message to Baji on August 11th, as I was walking down through San Francisco’s Chinatown (which is totally better than DC’s Chinatown) one afternoon:

Baji! Is today pirate day?! Interro-rarr! I keep seeing pirates everywhere!

two. My buddy, A, is perpetually bemused by my constant usage of the word “yaar” (sort of equivalent to “buddy” in various South Asian languages), and has been a good sport about sharing his confusion through emails progressing from May to August. Exhibit A:

you said “yarr,” made me laugh out loud. i pictured you on a boat yelling something at me and finishing it up with “yarr”….talking like a pirate and such.

Exhibit B:

when you write “yaar”, here is what i picture: you with an eye patch on, your finger in the form of a hook and a “pirate-ish” look on your face.

Exhibit C:

it’s friday, yaar. (finger hooked, voice lowered and walking on a peg-leg yaar.)

Exhibit D:

what language is “yaar”? i tried that this weekend and everybody i thought i was trying to be a pretentious pirate that talked all properly. dang the western world and their love for pirates, yaar.

three. My favorite pirate store is at 826 Valencia. Sadly, I have not been there yet, but here are a few of my favorite entries from the Store Log:

August 20, 2007
A customer bought a handful of mice — 6 to be exact — with a fistful of $2 bills. I mentioned to him he was a filthy, no good, lying, cheating excretion, and who is this …this Thomas Jefferson? Declaration of what? My mother? Why you…!

June 07, 2007
A gentleman lifted up the trap door that hides our toy snake.
“Why fake?” he inquired.
“You know, city ordinances,” I replied.
“Lawyers really do ruin everything,” he laughed.

May 03, 2007
Overheard in the store: My grandfather almost lost his eye a while ago. Apparently he mixed up the bottles for eye drops and superglue, and he squirted superglue onto his eyeball. At the hospital they just scraped it off and his eye was fine.

Glass eye book set? Anyone? Anyone? Don’t forget, though, the rules of the pirate store state, No haggling! Only bartering. So, stop trying to be all Desi, yaar.

5 thoughts on “All facial hair should be ill-kept but not uneven

  1. this is how i introduced TLAP day to my entire office:

    Ahoy lads and lassies (FYI, it’s international talk like a pirate day today),

    It appears that two of our co-workers are going to be walking the plank and jumping ship in October – Pamela and Dan. I know with the end of the year push, the next few weeks are crunch time, but is anyone available for a little goodbye office party on either October 1 (Monday) or 2 (Tuesday)? Let me know or ye’ll be forced to swab the deck!

    — Cap’n T

    followed by:

    Avast! It appears that most of ye are going to be setting sail on the high seas post-fiscal-year-end (and several of ye scurvy bilge rats have not deigned to respond at all), so if Admiral Tom agrees, p’raps we’ll just have a cake and card shindig for Pamela at the meeting scheduled for the 8th since it appears that Dan has already started pillaging in far away lands and won’t be around that week anyway. See ye then, me harties!

    –Cap’n T

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