Does Josh have a job? Thanks for letting me know

When I came in to work yesterday morning, I checked my personal emails and found this one – accidentally, I’m assuming, sent the evening before by an administrator from my alma mater, to the University’s pre-health sciences listserve, of which I’m still a member (yeah, don’t ask – I don’t know why, either):

Hi, P!

Hope you had a good time with Earlene and Dorothy–and that you made it back in one piece to CM :-) I didn’t hear a peep out of SV for my birthday, but just received a message that her car is not running well because they had to put chains on (what’s that about?) and that she doesn’t have money for food or rent. Sigh. And what to do. If I call, I will have to ask that question I’m not welcome to voice (“Does Josh have a job?”), so perhaps I’ll just wait a bit. BIG SIGH!

Happy Valentine’s Day!

My first reaction was, Holy freakin’ smoley, she is going to be SO FREAKIN’ EMBARRASSED when she realizes she sent this to the entire list! My second reaction was, YEAH! Does Josh have a JOB? Get with it, Josh! And, hey, what’s THAT about CHAINS, huh? And then I kept laughing to myself the rest of the morning. I was so amused by this hilarious start to the day, that I changed my GMail away message to the following:

It’s so funny when people send emails to the wrong recipients. TOO MUCH INFORMATION, kids!

A few hours later, as I was frantically preparing for an afternoon meeting, I clicked through my open firefox tabs and found a new email in my inbox, this time from blurker, erstwhile blogger, and fellow GMail user, Shaheen, with the subject line: “Friday night.” Her email read:

Hey Jasmine!

Just thought I’d let you know that I won’t be able to go out Friday night anymore. I have to take the kids this weekend; their father’s being a real jackass and saying he can’t look after them. He probably just has another playmate on the side to take to some fancy resort, again. I don’t know when the fuck he’s gonna quit that crap. I’m just glad I got out of it as soon as I did.

Anyways… I hope you have a great night without me. Don’t drink TOO much, and make sure you tell all the hotties about me too.

Your bitchin’ buddy,
Sandy.

It is a testament to my utter cluelessness that I spent about two minutes staring confusedly at my computer screen, wondering, Whaaaa…? Who was this supposed to go to? Who is this from again?! Maybe it IS a real email! And then I laughed my ass off and IMed Shaheen with, “SUTT PANJAA!” (except I misspelled it, and she thought I was saying, “SAAT PANJA,” which means “seven fives” or something).

Shaheen, I’m sorry you’re going through so much drama and turmoil with that jackass husband of yours, but we all know I need more drama in my life anyway, so at least I get to live vicariously through you. As soon as I get back from my night of binge drinking, I’ll be sure to lend you an emotional shoulder.

PS: I love Shaheen because she introduced me to “SUTT PUNJAAA!”, which is how the Punjabis say, “HIGHFIVE!” It literally translates to, “Throw a five!” Isn’t that great?! I think it is. (Almost as good as “Oopar/ooncha paanch!”, the Urdu version.)

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