i got a fast car.
It’s never a good idea to leave the house just a split second before your father does in the morning, because that means you’re on the road together for the first fifteen minutes of your daily commute, and you can see the yellow fog lamps of his SUV shining disapprovingly behind you the entire way, even when you do your slick lane-switching maneuvers and he gets stuck behind some slow truck.
After you’ve both crossed the bridge and swished through the FasTrak toll lane, you split up, he taking 780 towards Napa and you continuing on 680 towards Sacramento. And because, as mentioned above, he was stuck behind some other car and so you didn’t get to wave to each other at the junction, this is the point where your father calls to say goodbye and tell you to have a beautiful day. And because he is highly predictable, he also adds sternly at the end, “And drive slowly. You drive too fast, and you tailgate people.”
You think of this weblog, and want to burst out laughing and point out, “But, Daddy, the whole entire world already knows that by now.” But instead you reply meekly, “Alright, Daddy.”
You don’t sound very convincing though.